A Real NCO

A Real NCO


1.  Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.

2.  Has a spine.

3.  Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument.

4.  Can see in the dark.

5.  Has eyes in the back of their heads.

6.  Still don’t trust the Russians.

7.  Still hate the French.

8.  Doesn’t know how to be politically correct.

9.  Doesn’t give a damn about being politically correct.

10.  Thinks that “politically correct” should fall under “sodomy” in the UCMJ.

11.  Love deployments because there is less paperwork and more “real” work.

12.  Can run 4 miles with a hangover, but can’t pass a tape test.

13.  Does not fear women in the military.

14.  Would actually like to date G.I. Jane.

15.  Still knows how to use a buffer.

16.  Can tell you anything you want to know about an M1911A1 even though they are no longer in the inventory.

17.  Believes that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.

18.  Believes that “Nuts” wasn’t all the Brigadier General McAuliffe said to the Germans at Bastogne.

19.  Doesn’t know how to use a “stress card”.

20.  Idolizes John Wayne.

21.  Doesn’t believe that AAFES really needs a “commander”.

22.  Can remember when faggots weren’t a “minority group”.

23.  Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clocked cleaned.

24.  Really doesn’t like taking shit from those who haven’t “been there”.

25.  Knows how to properly construct a field latrine.

26.  Knows how to do a daisy chain.

27.  Knows that a daisy chain is not a sex act.

28.  Might admire the Germans, but still realizes they got their asses kicked.

29.  Aren’t afraid of the Chinese, who probably don’t have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.

30.  Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP-4.

31.  Doesn’t believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.

32.  Doesn’t need a GPS to find themselves.

33.  Have enough BDU’s in their closet to start a surplus store.

34.  Think that MRE’s taste good (with a little hot sauce).

35.  Are convinced that “wall to wall” counseling really works.

36.  Have  more time on the frontline that most others have in the chow line.

37.  Knows how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.

38.  Knows that it’s not good coffee when you can see through it.

39.  Doesn’t blame poor marksmanship on their M-16/M-4.

40.  Knows that shitty leaders will always say they have shitty soldiers.

41.  Never takes a word from any officer without a hard copy.

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27 thoughts on “A Real NCO”

  1. Yeah helping that cherry Lt. You make fun. Mislead, go behind his back, do absolutely nothing to make him a better and keep him alive

    1. But YOU have the higher education. YOU have the higher rank. YOU get promoted faster. YOU sleep alone or with one other at most. BOQ doesn’t get weekly inspections. YOU don’t have working parties. YOU don’t get stuck doing stupid shit because someone under you screwed up, and you stepped up to take the hit. YOU don’t take the hit for anyone beneath you, you ensure the shit rolls right off you and onto those beneath you. YOU are paid better. Quit yer fu**in whining, and get in the ditch with the rest of us!

  2. Wake the troops and run nine miles before chow, after coming in from a full night of drinking, and God forbid if anyone can’t keep up!

  3. Was this list written by someone in the Army. A lot of the terms are not used in the Marine Corps. We use Heads not latrines etc. Also what is a tape test and what is a buffer?

    1. Buffer was used to polish the decks in the wood barracks at P.I. first and second battalions, we in third battalion lived in quonset huts with concrete decks, didn’t need buffers. This was in 1958.

    1. I feel the same way! I was born in France….joined the Marine Corps because 9/11 pissed me off. I earned my citizenship by serving this country and continue to do so through Law Enforcement. I did one combat tour in Afghanistan and although I was a machine gunner my lieutenant used me to give directions to set the French Mirage pilots on target to contact the enemy!

  4. Who doesn’t give a damn about hurting the feelings of everyone who’s comes into our country and wants us to be politically correct!!
    F#%* ‘em!

  5. Sounds about right! Some of y’all need to lighten up and read no’s. 9 & 10 again. Especially you LT!

  6. Anyone who can pull a trigger in a firefight is ok with me;
    Foreign born,dogs
    Whoever,as long as we win. Ooh rah!

  7. They forgot the VIP one !
    Can drink leftover coffee ( been on the burner for hours & pours & looks like molasses) and says ‘I could use some more of that good stuff’. And he was Serious !!
    Helluva man SSgt Anderson. Follow his ass anywhere.

  8. When I stopped Laughing, I realized I pass the test. Thank you SSGT Duggan/SSGT Garrity/and the Gunny next to my unit in DaNang in Oct of 66. I wish I could remember his name and the Sgt that replaced me. The Gunny gave me the best compliment I ever received in the Corps(I have watched you and you can be in my outfit anytime). Two war zones and 38 years on a fire department and I still try to lead by example. You react as you are trained and I consider myself well trained. The person in a firefight who would put both hands over their eyes and say ‘I can’t see you, you can’t see me’ would receive my first bullet(accidentally on purpose). ” NUNC ET SEMPER”

  9. A Real NCO still calls everyone Ma’am or Sir. However when called Sir, says “don’t call me Sir, I worked for a living”.

    Is still vigilant in looking out for his family as well as he did his Marines.

    Will lay his life down in defense of said family.

    Probably has Marine or his rank worked somewhere in his email address.

    Is still taking charge and kicking ass. At whatever it is they are doing.

    Semper Fidelis,

    Mike Clark
    Sergeant, USMC, 1981-1993
    Life Member of Marine Corps League (where the old NCO’s are still pulling their weight and then some)
    Life Member of Disabled American Veterans (van driver to VA over 3 1/2 years, made sure “my vets” were always on time for appointments, made it home safely, and got all the knowledge I had on how to improve their own claims, benefits or medical experiences.

    I tell people now. I may not be IN the service but still trying to be OF service.

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