MGySgt vs. SgtMaj
For all Marines, no explanation is necessary. For all the rest, no explanation is possible but I'll just inform the unknowing that a MGySgt (Master Gunnery Sgt.) is the same pay grade, E-9, as a SgtMaj (Sgt. Major) but MGySgts have not been personally anointed by The Deity.
MGySgt 1. When you meet a MGySgt in the passageway and say, “What's up Master Guns?”, he says, “What's up Devil Dog?”
SgtMaj 1. When you meet a SgtMaj in the passageway and say, “What's up SgtMaj?”, he says, “Your chevrons are chipped and your skivvies aren't marked Devil Dog; and by the way, the appropriate greeting is 'Good afternoon Sergeant Major!”
MGySgt 2. When you see a MGySgt at the MCX, he's probably wearing a T-shirt, jeans and his running shoes; holding hands with his wife and says, “Hey Devil Dog, this is my wife Sue Ellen.”
SgtMaj 2. When you see a SgtMaj at the P.X., he's probably wearing a smartly pressed Van Heusen shirt and Dockers sitting by himself in the food court and says, “Where's your belt Devil Dog? Who are you with?”
MGySgt 3. If you ever find yourself in the MGySgt's office, there is a good chance you'll be able to sit down and talk shop with a ready-made cup of hot Joe and get a strong hand shake on the way out.
SgtMaj 3. If you ever find yourself in the SgtMaj's office, it's very likely you won't be able to sit down at all because of all of the “I love me” stuff and you won't have time for a cup of coffee because you'll be too busy making sure every sentence ends in SgtMaj. On the way out he'll make sure and remind you about your duty on Christmas day.
MGySgt 4. If you run in to the MGySgt at the club, he'll probably be a half-a-beer away from smacking up some lieutenant and about 3 chicken wings away from a heart attack. He'll gladly invite
(order) you to come over and drink a beer with him while he tells you how shit hot of a Marine you are (can you drive him home).
SgtMaj 4. If you run in to the SgtMaj at the club, he'll probably be drinking a watered-down Pepsi and eating unsalted popcorn because his body is a temple. He wouldn't think of inviting you over because he is with his fellow 9999s and you just wouldn't understand.
On the way out the door he counsels you on saying the f-word too much and reminds you about duty tomorrow.
MGySgt 5. If you happen to see the MGySgt at PT, he'll be in cammies scratching his head because he thought you said “beer” run instead of “pier” run. If he did come to actually run he's probably still wearing his scarlet and gold PT gear and grey Velcro running shoes from Payless.
SgtMaj 5. When you see the SgtMaj at PT, he'll be running the guidon ( e <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guidon>
n.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guidon ) around the battalion because all of the Marines are really impressed that a 27-year Marine is still in that great of shape. After the run, he will counsel you for your PT shorts not being properly pressed and remind you to check in for duty after you change over.
MGySgt 6. When you call the MGySgt at 0100 and tell him that you are heading to the hospital because your wife is in labor, he'll probably say “Alright brother, drive safely and I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Call me to let me know everything went well.”
SgtMaj 6. When you call the SgtMaj at 0100 and tell him that you are heading to the hospital because your wife is in labor, he'll probably say “Who authorized that? Did the Colonel sign off on that package? Fine! Don't forget about formation in the morning.”
MGySgt 7. If you happen to see the MGySgt in the barracks after 1630, he's probably just walked over from the club half lit and looking for a ride home. Hide the WMs.
SgtMaj 7. If you happen to see the SgtMaj in the barracks after 1630, he's probably just passing through on his eighty (80)-mile run making sure his Duty NCOs are reading their knowledge and following their General Orders. Hide the MGySgt and the WMs.
MGySgt 8. If you happen to run into the MGySgt in the field, he's probably sitting on a lawn chair, chewing on a fat cigar and messing with the lieutenants. He'll probably have a six (6)-pack of warm brownie pops in his ALICE pack.
SgtMaj 8. If you happen to run into the SgtMaj in the field, he'll probably be checking his fire watches in full combat load with cammie paint on and chewing on some LCpl's behind for wearing faded cammies. He'll probably have a set of dumbbells, extra chevrons, a couple of charge sheets, and the Drill Manual tucked away in his ALICE pack.
MGySgt 9. If you happen to see the MGySgt at the Marine Corps Ball, he's probably about half-a-beer past smacking some lieutenant and working on getting smacked by Sue Ellen for staring at that LCpl's date.
He'll buy you a drink if you'll listen to his story about back in the first Gulf War and help him carry all of his medals out to the cab when it's time to go.
SgtMaj 9. If you happen to see the SgtMaj at the Marine Corps Ball, he's probably drinking a watered-down Pepsi and squaring away the lieutenants' National Defense Medals. His wife's not there because the Corps didn't issue him one (1). He can't buy you a drink because he spent all his cash buying the senior SgtMaj' drinks. He will remind you that he's been to the drill field three (3) times and that he spent the last six (6) months preparing the ceremony.
MGySgt 10. If you happen to see a MGySgt talking to a SgtMaj, he's probably got his hands buried in his pockets and calling him by his first name. He'll probably be thinking about what rank he was in 1990 when the SgtMaj came in and how he got so many stars on his drill instructor ribbon.
SgtMaj 10. If you happen to see a SgtMaj talking to a MGySgt, he's probably standing at parade rest busy making sure that every sentence ends in Master Gunnery Sergeant. He'll probably be thinking about what grade (in school) he was in back in 1979 when the MGySgt came in and how he got so many stars on his good conduct ribbon.