You might be a jarhead if…


You might be a jarhead

You've ever used the term “Oohrah” in any
context other than sarcasm.
Your dream home is base housing.
You've ever rolled pennies to buy beer on a week night.
You've ever sold blood to buy beer.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You met your wife at a strip joint.
You and your roommate share the same woman.
Your kid has a high & tight.
You still have your full basic issue.
Your boot polish doesn't come out of a
Your cammies have more starch than your
You refer to McDonald's food as “chow.”
You've ever bought your girlfriend a “bag
You've ever read your 'Battle Skills' book
for fun.
You still know all your General Orders.
You refer to E-2s as “My PFC,” or “Young
Devil Dog.”
You call your friends “Devil Dog.”
Your #1 credit reference is DPP.
You think your military training is
seriously worth college credit.
Your picture is outside the Career Planner's office.
You have whitewalls on your head, but not
your car.
You don't drink on duty section.
You have a star on your good cookie.(OR EVEN
You consider going to the Roadhouse a night
on the town.
You think that officers fly planes because
they are too stupid to work on them.
You still know the words to the “Marine's
You say things are 'good to go,' or
You haven't been laid in over a year.
Your favorite game is Spades.
You think stuff like this should be done on
your own time.
You still imitate your drill instructors.
You do MCIs to better yourself.
You call cadence to yourself.
You get your haircut at the 7-Day Store.
You've ever given a period of instruction.
You've ever locked anybody on.
You use CLP as cologne.
You use Aqua Velva aftershave.
You iron your coveralls.
You have a dog named “Chesty.”
You have a blues cover in the back window of
your car.
You've ever done anything for love of Corps.
You display your rank on the windshield of
your car.
You press your cammies an hour after you get
them from the cleaners.
You think the Air Force is nasty.
You have a subscription to 'Leatherneck
You use the term “hard charger” on a subject
other than batteries.
You think your unit doesn't PT enough.
You think Motrin cures things.
You wear your dogtags to the beach.
You've ever worked on a Harrier and truly
wanted to fix it.
You still use any drill instructor cliches.
You've ever been on a 3-day work detail
picking up dead fish by hand out of
a rancid lake under the hot August sun in
(You know who you are, stay strong my brothers.)
All your underwear still has your laundry
number on it.
You stencil your name on your jeans.
You refer to regular clothes as 'civvies.'
You've ever ironed your sheets for field
You practice rifle manual with a swab.
You get your hair cut once a week.
You've been to Whisper Alley.
You've ever worn out an ironing board.
You hang your dirty laundry from the foot of
your bed.
More than half of your wardrobe was
purchased at the PX.
You “quarter-deck” your kids.
You practice line training on your wife.
You argue with people about whether Paris
Island or San Diego was better.
You refer to your SNCOIC as 'Daddy.'
You've ever called someone off leave for an
up gripe.
You use your seabag as luggage when you go
on leave.
You have a picture of the Commandant in your
You wear your wooly pully with Levis.
You wear your all weather coat with regular clothes (or civvies).
The horn on your car plays the 'Marine
Your picture is outside the PX.
You've ever starved until dinner because you
woke up too late to go to the chow hall.
You pick up a woman in a bar and she takes
you to base housing.
You stay there. (refer to #76)
You have the misconception that you can kick
someone's ass because they're in the Navy.
If you've ever suggested that your unit goes
on a hump.
You've ever gone to a bar or dance club in
your blues.
You seriously think that your GI Bill will
pay for your college education.
You've ever slept with a WM.
You take your 782 gear camping.
You found CPL School motivating.
You can be found in 'Shaboom's' or 'Texas
Two Step' every weekend. OR
You like 'Tun Tavern' Beer.
You have a camouflage comforter on your bed.
You keep MREs around just in case you get hungry.
You go to the chow hall to meet women.
You think people should be court-martialed
for running into a building to avoid colors.
You've ever had razor burn on your head.
You signed the Chesty Puller stamp petition.
You've ever used the term 'very well' in
normal conversation.
The IG asks the Corpsman next to you to show you how to spitshine your boots, to look like his.
You call cadence during sex.


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